What defines a healthy/normal relationship?

Note that this is not a test which gives you the result “yes” or “no”. The following statements can on the other hand help you to realize the nature of your relationship.

A close relationship can be on a certain spectrum and be healthy, unhealthy or violent/abusive. Communication and boundaries is often the important parts to discuss when assessing the nature of a relationship.

Healthy relationships are characterized by both partners:

• Can openly speak about their problems and thoughts and the other one listens. During conversation, both partners respect the others opinion. It should be possible to disagree and not necessarily have to make the other person understand what you mean, or have to change the other persons point of view.
• Respect each other, just the way the person is. The partner should be respected and valued without terms or conditions. Mutual respect is necessary to maintain a healthy relationship.
• Trust each other. What does “trust” mean? – trust is a option one can choose to apply. The definition on trust in this context can be to believe that the other person is reliable, and to feel mentally and physically safe around the person.
• Are honest with each other. But of course one can have privacy and choose not to share everything.
• Can spend their time apart from each other and be alone or with other people. It is important to respect your partners’ private life.
• Have discussed, and mutually make a decision on sexual matters and if it is time to have children. It should be normal to openly discuss what you prefer and do not prefer regarding intimacy/sex life and both partners should be satisfied on when, where and how their sex life is.
• Have equal say on how the financial matters are being taken care of and both partners should have an overview on the finances.
• Encourage and support each other.

Note that on this page authors aimed to have the text as fluent and readable as possible and hence it was not always possible to take particular account of gender or sexual orientation.