I lost everything financially but found a way out of the relationship.

"I was divorced and financially well off when I met the man I'm now divorcing. Today I'm bankrupt and waiting for an appointment with a debt collector. I don't know how this happened."

My husband moved in with me and soon I sold my apartment to buy another one with him. Some time later I sold my car and we bought another one together. I never really knew how he was doing financially, but when I look back, he was in a lot of financial trouble.

He was buying ridiculous things that I didn't understand, and somehow I ended up giving a mortgage. After we bought together, we were both registered owners, even though I put up most of the money.

Then one day I woke up to a bad dream. The house was going to auction, the car payments were in arrears, and the car was lost. Lots of other debts. I, who had always been so careful with my finances.

I had lost everything I had when I met him and was bankrupt. It was like being caught in a tornado.

After being interviewed by a counselor at the Women's Shelter, I can see better how this happened, although I may never fully understand it. This man certainly used me well and used subtle violence and gaslighting on me. He never hit me – he didn't need to. He controlled in a different way.

"Despite the difficulties I face, I am most grateful to have come out of this. I hope I never have to see or hear from this man again."

While the story shows how deep the scars of financial and emotional abuse can be, it also reminds us that with support and advice, it is possible to emerge from such situations. Supporting the work of the Women's Shelter makes it possible to provide women with advice, safety, and a way out of abusive relationships.