I thought I should know better, but violence can happen to anyone.

"Throughout my work in the health system, I had often assisted victims of domestic violence. Provided them with support and encouraged many of them to seek the services of the Women's Shelter. I never expected to find myself in this situation. I was middle-aged and had been divorced for several years when I met a man. He was sweet and kind, supportive and brought me gifts for the smallest of occasions. He pushed me hard for various commitments. We soon started living together and were married within a year.

There were certain warning signs that should have rung some bells in my ears. But he seemed to know exactly how to break me down. He would regularly say something demeaning, criticizing my intelligence, my dress, or my appearance, but then he would praise me and talk about the importance of sticking together. It was very confusing, and he made sure to only show his best side when we were around other people.

The financial abuse started soon after we got married. He bought me trips abroad and expensive gifts, but then I had to pay for necessities. When I tried to discuss this, he got angry and called me ungrateful. His behavior had become very threatening. He would throw things and lock me in the bathroom when I protested. If I got angry, he would call me crazy, that I clearly needed help, preferably in a psychiatric ward. I was starting to believe him and question my own sanity.

He had also been married and had described his ex as very difficult, she must have been completely crazy. I was starting to see the context better and realize that I was in an abusive relationship, but I was in a certain denial and I was prejudiced, unfortunately. I was not the type to let myself be treated like that. University educated in a prestigious job where I was supposed to know better. For that reason, I found it inconceivable that the people around me knew what had happened.

So I began to isolate myself. In his opinion, my friends were all idiots who had a bad influence on me. I also didn't trust myself to seek professional help. But one evening I gathered the courage and called the Women's Shelter. Then a floodgate opened and I realized how good and important it was to tell people and get validation and support.

I was invited to come in for an interview, which I accepted. I was encouraged to open up about the violence to those closest to me. It turned out to be a stroke of luck, and the fact that more and more people knew also made it easier for me to end the relationship. I moved in with my sister and filed for divorce.

He tried everything to prevent or delay the divorce and refused to sign the papers. He was constantly sending me messages, either praise and declarations of love or threats and swearing. Finally he signed, but with demands that he came out of the divorce much better financially.

I have sometimes regretted not taking more time and getting advice. But at the time, and still today, I thought my health and happiness were more valuable than worldly things.

I got out of this because of the help I received from the Women's Shelter and because my family and friends stood firmly behind me. I encourage women to get help. Seek out the Women's Shelter. Violence in intimate relationships is found in all walks of life and it is so important to remind ourselves that the shame does not belong to those who are subjected to the violence.”

Although the story is painful, it reminds us that violence in intimate relationships can happen to women from all walks of life. The safety, advice and support from the Women's Shelter can make a difference when women take the first steps out of an abusive relationship. Supporting the work of the Women's Shelter makes it possible to provide safety and help to women and children when they need it most.